Frenzy for new toys builds at Arkansas Walmart stores: Target left wondering, “Why not here?”

With Christmas just a few hours away, we’re seeing a great deal of frenzy developing at Arkansas Walmart stores, especially in the newly-remodeled Bentonville Walmart and always hectic Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in Pinnacle Hills, no too far from the manufacturing plant of one of the hottest toys made near Pinnacle Hills.While some of the hottest toys of the season are available at Target, there are a few that the buyers at Target left off the list. We found one hot toy you definitely will not find at Target.Check out the following limited edition toys we wish were available only at selected Walmart stores in Arkansas for a limited time.  Called Barbee (pronounced “bhay-be” – the “r” is silent) this toy is all the rage among everyone we know – including liberals, gays, homophobics, bankrupt developers, conservatives, and even right-winged politicans – across the state of Arkansas. We hear Bill Clinton will receive one for Christmas this year directly from the manufacturer.  Is this fab new toy on your holiday wish list?  It should be! Eureka Springs Barbee: This Barbee is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstock with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow or when it’s dinner time. She does not want or need a Kenny Barbee, but if you purchase two Harrison Barbees and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. Eureka Springs II Barbee: This versatile Barbee can be easily converted from Barbee to Kenny by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts. She still wants you to call her when it’s dinner time. Fayetteville Barbee: Comes with an assortment of second-hand Kate Spade Handbags, a dented Lexus SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey that humps everything in sight. She lives in a cookie-cutter McMansion with a mortgage that’s so upside down, well, you know. Available with or without the botched tummy tuck, boob job, and face lift. Alcoholic Kenny sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. Fort Smith Barbee: The modern day homemaker Barbee is available with the ten-year-old Ford Windstar mini-van on the verge of being repossessed, plus a matching gym outfit complete with torn armpits to match the torn seats in the van. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Harrison Barbee: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweedy bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Kenny’s butt when she’s drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Pinnacle Hills Barbee: This yuppie Barbee comes with your choice of last-year’s BMW or Hummer H2. Included are a personalized Starbucks cup good only at the Starbucks that closed last year, a credit card that’s over the limit, and a faux-country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Kenny and Private School Skipper. You can only purchase these at the local bank, because everything was repo’d because daddy was a Northwest Arkansas real estate developer that went bust. Rogers Barbee: This Barbee is no longer available for political reasons, but can still be found on eBay. Wearing just one shoe, this Barb went broke running a pizza joint in historic downtown Rogers, then got busted for running a Ponzi-scheme, finally committing pretend-suicide by pretending to throw herself off the Beaver Lake Dam. Springdale Barbee: This Barbee is attired in the traditional chicken-processing job garb, where she chokes Kenny’s little chicken on a daily basis. She comes with a green-card, twelve bambinos, and speaks only Spanish. SW Little Rock Barbee: This Barbee now comes with a stroller and two in-bred infant Barbee wannabes. Optional accessories include a GED with last year’s maps and an expired bus pass. Gangsta Kenny and his 1971 Caddy were available, but is now very difficult to find since the addition of the mixed-breed infant. West Memphis Barbee: This recently paroled Barbee comes with a 9mm toy handgun, a fake Ray Lewis knife, and a 64′ Chevy with dark tinted windows. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about. Pine Bluff Barbee: This Barbee was never available… she got shot before she made it to the list. Legal Notice: Please do not confuse these toys with products made by other companies, including Barbie (r) which is made by Mattel (r). Our toys should not be confused with any Mattel ™ or Barbie ™ toy, or any other toy on the market. Any resemblance to any toy or person, living or dead, or anything currently available in a Walmart store is a mere coincidence. Parody comparisons are strictly in the eyes of the reader and possibly intended. No Rights are Reserved. A photo of Fayetteville Barbee is shown below so as not to be confused and for comparison to similar products on the market.

Lesbian Love Fest at the Northwest Arkansas LPGA

 The LPGA Weekend in Northwest Arkansas is fast becoming synonymous with a lesbian love fest, but not for the organizers who originally intended it to be a prestigious golf tournament.

Held annually at the Pinnacle Country Club, the Northwest Arkansas LPGA Weekend is quickly becoming a destination for lesbians seeking a vacation getaway spot for lesbian couples and also singles looking for action.

Known for its “Natural State” theme, this LPGA event is attracting thousands of women for one long party with poolside romps, go-go dancers simulating sex onstage, and general debauchery not so commonly tolerated elsewhere.

This festival has its humble lesbian origins in 2007, when the owners of a successful California-based lesbian club attended the Northwest Arkansas golf tournament – and left, bored out of their minds. “We only went because we knew one of the players…It was exhausting, all that walking, walking, walking in the rain, humidity, and heat. We looked at each other and said, “Never again”.” Sensing an opportunity to create an alternative to the popular Palm Springs LPGA week of lesbian and gay fun, they started promoting hotel packages, music, and parties to their close friends during the Northwest Arkansas LPGA weekend. “The LPGA event in Northwest Arkansas has an aloft Hotel, Eureka Springs nearby, plus a fantastic art, food, and music festival taking place across the street, making it more than just a weekend of golf,” says one lesbian friend.

The 2008 Northwest Arkansas LPGA event initially targeted lesbian golfers and spectators for in-between breaks. The lesbian party is quickly morphing into a lesbian festival, largely due to, some claim, the closeted female golfing community, “comprising up to 60 percent of the crowd,” as one local lesbian observer claims.

Northwest Arkansas ban on adoptions challenged by the American Civil Liberties Union

More than a dozen families filed a lawsuit Tuesday challenging a new Arkansas law banning unmarried couples living together from becoming foster or adoptive parents.   The Arkansas chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit on behalf of the families in Pulaski County Circuit Court seeking to overturn Act 1, which was approved by voters in last month’s general election.