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| With Christmas just a few hours away, we’re seeing a great deal of frenzy developing at Arkansas Walmart stores, especially in the newly-remodeled Bentonville Walmart and always hectic Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in Pinnacle Hills, no too far from the manufacturing plant of one of the hottest toys made near Pinnacle Hills.While some of the hottest toys of the season are available at Target, there are a few that the buyers at Target left off the list.
We found one hot toy you definitely will not find at Target.Check out the following limited edition toys we wish were available only at selected Walmart stores in Arkansas for a limited time. Called Barbee (pronounced “bhay-be” – the “r” is silent) this toy is all the rage among everyone we know – including liberals, gays, homophobics, bankrupt developers, conservatives, and even right-winged politicans – across the state of Arkansas. We hear Bill Clinton will receive one for Christmas this year directly from the manufacturer. Is this fab new toy on your holiday wish list? It should be! Eureka Springs Barbee: This Barbee is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstock with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow or when it’s dinner time. She does not want or need a Kenny Barbee, but if you purchase two Harrison Barbees and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. Eureka Springs II Barbee: This versatile Barbee can be easily converted from Barbee to Kenny by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts. She still wants you to call her when it’s dinner time. Fayetteville Barbee: Comes with an assortment of second-hand Kate Spade Handbags, a dented Lexus SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey that humps everything in sight. She lives in a cookie-cutter McMansion with a mortgage that’s so upside down, well, you know. Available with or without the botched tummy tuck, boob job, and face lift. Alcoholic Kenny sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. Fort Smith Barbee: The modern day homemaker Barbee is available with the ten-year-old Ford Windstar mini-van on the verge of being repossessed, plus a matching gym outfit complete with torn armpits to match the torn seats in the van. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Harrison Barbee: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweedy bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Kenny’s butt when she’s drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Pinnacle Hills Barbee: This yuppie Barbee comes with your choice of last-year’s BMW or Hummer H2. Included are a personalized Starbucks cup good only at the Starbucks that closed last year, a credit card that’s over the limit, and a faux-country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Kenny and Private School Skipper. You can only purchase these at the local bank, because everything was repo’d because daddy was a Northwest Arkansas real estate developer that went bust. Rogers Barbee: This Barbee is no longer available for political reasons, but can still be found on eBay. Wearing just one shoe, this Barb went broke running a pizza joint in historic downtown Rogers, then got busted for running a Ponzi-scheme, finally committing pretend-suicide by pretending to throw herself off the Beaver Lake Dam. Springdale Barbee: This Barbee is attired in the traditional chicken-processing job garb, where she chokes Kenny’s little chicken on a daily basis. She comes with a green-card, twelve bambinos, and speaks only Spanish. SW Little Rock Barbee: This Barbee now comes with a stroller and two in-bred infant Barbee wannabes. Optional accessories include a GED with last year’s maps and an expired bus pass. Gangsta Kenny and his 1971 Caddy were available, but is now very difficult to find since the addition of the mixed-breed infant. West Memphis Barbee: This recently paroled Barbee comes with a 9mm toy handgun, a fake Ray Lewis knife, and a 64′ Chevy with dark tinted windows. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about. Pine Bluff Barbee: This Barbee was never available… she got shot before she made it to the list. Legal Notice: Please do not confuse these toys with products made by other companies, including Barbie (r) which is made by Mattel (r). Our toys should not be confused with any Mattel ™ or Barbie ™ toy, or any other toy on the market. Any resemblance to any toy or person, living or dead, or anything currently available in a Walmart store is a mere coincidence. Parody comparisons are strictly in the eyes of the reader and possibly intended. No Rights are Reserved. A photo of Fayetteville Barbee is shown below so as not to be confused and for comparison to similar products on the market. |
Everyone is writing me these days wondering why I’m not spewing my usual volume of banter on this awesome blog of mine (awesome is my word – not theirs).
It seems some readers have gotten used to me writing with the same predictability and hot steam as that geyser which spouts-off in Yellowstone Park.
The answer: blame it on Twitter. We’ve fallen victim to the spell of Twitter. Well not really…We’re not a victim of Twitter-dom.
No, we’re just succumbing to laziness, a spell-check-free world, and a busy schedule (attending speeches, working double-shifts, ranting and raving, and generally pissing everyone off around town with the truth about our neighborhood). I just can’t find enough time to point out everything that’s wrong with this place in detail.
So, if you want the latest sound bytes on what’s going wrong with our neighborhood, check us out on Twitter: www.twitter.com/nwarkansas. I promise to keep it under 140 letters and spaces.
After just a few months, Lavender Blu, a home decor and gift store, has closed the doors on its Second Street location in downtown Rogers.
Lavender Blu represents another downtown business fleeing the decaying business district in search of greener pastures. A few months earlier, an upscale furniture store located next door at Walnut and First Street relocated to southern California.
We poked our nose into Lavender Blu a couple of times during its brief stop in downtown Rogers to catch a whiff of how business was doing. Lots of pretty things that won’t work in Rog’s pad, but it sure smelled good. Oh yeah, we never saw any customers.
The merchant didn’t give up entirely on her dream. Instead, she moved into rented booth space at the Interiors Galleria on the southside of Rogers.
Interiors Galleria is an estimated 30,000-SF home furnishings vendor mall that opened in 2007. Interiors Galleria of Rogers owner Peggy Treasure paid $1.8 million for their Pleasant Crossing lot in September 2005. Interiors Galleria is located in the largely undeveloped Pleasant Crossing shopping center at 4301 Pleasant Crossing Parkway in Rogers, behind the soon-to-close 50,000 square foot Sportsmans Warehouse building.
Does Frank Romeo tell his customers, “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” The answer is resounding “YES!” That’s because he sells pipes and other products for smokers.
Frank recently opened Romeo’s Downtown Pipe & Tobacco Co. in Rogers’ downtown business district. He’s offering the brotherhood of other smokers. Plus the store peddles a huge selection of pipes that appeal to local die-hard smokers.
One of the favorite activities at the store, according to the local paper, is teaching new smokers how to prepare the pipe, to properly puff on it, and how to clean it.
Good news for kids under eighteen, because smoking pipes can be bought by customers of any age in Arkansas. Nice! Thank goodness only adults can buy tobacco products.
Smoking pipes in the store range in price from $35 to $250, by the way, kids.
Before the ice storm destroyed the trees in the neighborhood, I took a famous architect from Chicago on a walking tour of the historic downtown Rogers business district in Northwest Arkansas. I wanted his opinion on what the city could do to clean up the neighborhood blight.
He lectured me,“Throughout history we’ve seen how buildings took architecture to the highest art form. I just don’t see that happening here. What I see is a neighborhood of mediocre architecture complimented with haphazard remodeling, all of it frozen in time and obsolete.”
He lamented, “Buildings become a representation of the community’s commitment to culture and the future. It is definitely not happening anywhere in the entire downtown area.”
When I asked if art could save the day, he responded, “From an architect’s standpoint, the same way that I feel that architecture is necessary for building communities and establishing an identity, the public art component does the same thing. Particularly in a public and business offices, which is at the heart of where the community creates the economic sustainability.”
What he meant was that there is no compelling public art in downtown Rogers. Certainly nothing that is artistic or architecturally significant on a regional, national, or international scale. He told me a train caboose didn’t count, that it was nothing more than a “trinket.”
When asked what he will remember most about his visit, “Just a collection of old worn-out buildings that look just like the old worn-out buildings found in a thousand old worn-out small towns scattered across the south and central U.S.”
As we walked among the empty storefronts and vacant buildings, he wagged his finger at the empty old Rogers City Hall, “Unfortunately many small town leaders across America, including what I see in downtown Rogers, Arkansas, have developed a false belief that preventing old downtowns from tearing down the old and rebuilding and modernizing is somehow going to make their communities more economically viable, or keep shoppers and businesses from fleeing to other parts of the city or region for work, shopping, and play.”
After working up an appetite, we enjoyed lunch at a lovely Italian restaurant on Walnut in downtown Rogers. The restaurant was completely empty of diners except for us on a sunny, warm Saturday afternoon. “Here you have a great restaurant, with a great atmosphere, great food, and great prices. And, it’s empty on a day when it should be packed with hungry shoppers.”
I thought, “I wish we had gone to PF Changs.”
What this architect is telling me is crystal clear about downtown Rogers. The old folks passed harsh preservation laws preventing the old buildings to be torn-down or fashionable remodeled, while they reminisced about the “good ol’ days” of downtown Rogers.
The old timers are clinging onto the past, and imposed the economic equivalent of a death sentence on the neighborhood by legislating away the opportunity to modernize, build new, make hip, enter the twenty-first century, and create new from the irrelevant, broken down and worn-out ashes of the old. The surrounding neighborhoods of residential are slipping into ghetto fast.
He left me with a final thought, “Younger people and business leaders with a few bucks in their pocket aren’t going to fix the problem with downtown Rogers. They will simply say, “Forget it. I’m not investing my time or money in someone else’s out-dated vision. Old dilapilated buildings and broken-down streets won’t work for me. You bore me, so I’m going drive fifteen minutes to elsewhere to invest, spend, shop, and whittle away my free time.”
Next Week: I’ll tell you what he thought of the neighborhood to the immediate east, southeast, and south of downtown Rogers, Arkansas. (Hint: not good.)
Before the ice storm destroyed the trees in the neighborhood, I took a famous architect from Chicago on a walking tour of the historic downtown Rogers business district in Northwest Arkansas. I wanted his opinion on what the city could do to clean up the neighborhood blight.
He lectured me,“Throughout history we’ve seen how buildings took architecture to the highest art form. I just don’t see that happening here. What I see is a neighborhood of mediocre architecture complimented with haphazard remodeling, all of it frozen in time and obsolete.”
He lamented, “Buildings become a representation of the community’s commitment to culture and the future. It is definitely not happening anywhere in the entire downtown area.”
When I asked if art could save the day, he responded, “From an architect’s standpoint, the same way that I feel that architecture is necessary for building communities and establishing an identity, the public art component does the same thing. Particularly in a public and business offices, which is at the heart of where the community creates the economic sustainability.”
What he meant was that there is no compelling public art in downtown Rogers. Certainly nothing that is artistic or architecturally significant on a regional, national, or international scale. He told me a train caboose didn’t count, that it was nothing more than a “trinket.”
When asked what he will remember most about his visit, “Just a collection of old worn-out buildings that look just like the old worn-out buildings found in a thousand old worn-out small towns scattered across the south and central U.S.”
As we walked among the empty storefronts and vacant buildings, he wagged his finger at the empty old Rogers City Hall, “Unfortunately many small town leaders across America, including what I see in downtown Rogers, Arkansas, have developed a false belief that preventing old downtowns from tearing down the old and rebuilding and modernizing is somehow going to make their communities more economically viable, or keep shoppers and businesses from fleeing to other parts of the city or region for work, shopping, and play.”
After working up an appetite, we enjoyed lunch at a lovely Italian restaurant on Walnut in downtown Rogers. The restaurant was completely empty of diners except for us on a sunny, warm Saturday afternoon. “Here you have a great restaurant, with a great atmosphere, great food, and great prices. And, it’s empty on a day when it should be packed with hungry shoppers.”
I thought, “I wish we had gone to PF Changs.”
What this architect is telling me is crystal clear about downtown Rogers. The old folks passed harsh preservation laws preventing the old buildings to be torn-down or fashionable remodeled, while they reminisced about the “good ol’ days” of downtown Rogers.
The old timers are clinging onto the past, and imposed the economic equivalent of a death sentence on the neighborhood by legislating away the opportunity to modernize, build new, make hip, enter the twenty-first century, and create new from the irrelevant, broken down and worn-out ashes of the old. The surrounding neighborhoods of residential are slipping into ghetto fast.
He left me with a final thought, “Younger people and business leaders with a few bucks in their pocket aren’t going to fix the problem with downtown Rogers. They will simply say, “Forget it. I’m not investing my time or money in someone else’s out-dated vision. Old dilapilated buildings and broken-down streets won’t work for me. You bore me, so I’m going drive fifteen minutes to elsewhere to invest, spend, shop, and whittle away my free time.”
Next Week: I’ll tell you what he thought of the neighborhood to the immediate east, southeast, and south of downtown Rogers, Arkansas. (Hint: not good.)
The Rogers City Hall in Northwest Arkansas has sat vacant and in declining condition. That’s no surprise to anyone. Now, the building will be auctioned off on Friday.
The Rogers City Hall is located in the historic downtown Rogers neighborhood at 214 W. Elm St. will be auctioned Jan. 23.
The property is owned by Harry Moznabi, who purchased the building from the Rogers Historical Museum in July 2006 for $389,389.
The problem with the property is that the exterior of the building cannot be changed in any way that would detract from its “historic integrity”.
The Arkansas Historic Preservation Program must over see any changes to the building, leading interested investors to avoid wasting their money on this ugly white elephant.
Too bad the building is encumbered by the “preservation” restrictions, because the building looks like shit – and alway will – and badly needs to be bulldozed and replaced with something that makes sense.
A Northeast Los Angeles gang leader with connections in Northwest Arkansas described by police as a monster who boasted in rap lyrics about his hatred of police and his love of killing was sentenced to death Friday for the murder of two rival gang members and the girlfriend of a third.
Timothy Joseph McGhee, 35, sat handcuffed in an orange jail uniform as Superior Court Judge Robert J. Perry said McGhee treated killing "as some kind of perverse sport, as if he was hunting human game." "He is a committed killer," Perry said.
Authorities described McGhee as a thrill killer who was among the most feared members of the long-entrenched Toonerville gang, which claims as its turf a largely middle-class area north of Los Feliz Boulevard between San Fernando Road and the Los Angeles River.
I just finished reading Forbes magazine’s list of America’s Fastest-Dying Towns . I wondered, could Rogers-Bentonville-Lowell find itself on this same list in years to come?
Sure, Walmart is doing good now, but what if…. What if WMT sales slowed, or even reversed (as they did in their international division). What if WMT laid off staff, or outsourced or flat out moved out of the Northwest. Would vendors do the same? Who would fill the houses, the factories, the office buildings? Who would eat at the restaurants, join the chamber, buy a new car?
Diversify the economy now for the days when WMT struggles to find their way, seems to be the answer. What do you think?
The Starbucks at Pinnacle Hills Promenade in Rogers, Arkansas closed last week. Who really cares, except the mall employees.
Seattle-based Starbucks Coffee Co. announced in July it would close three locations in Northwest Arkansas.
The Starbucks at 105 Dixieland Road in Lowell is already closed. Also planned to close is the Starbucks at 3351 Pinnacle Hills Parkway, near the Embassy Suites in Northwest Arkansas.
Rumor has it that coffee addicts living in the Pinnacle Hills Country Club are taking life into their own hands and driving 10 minutes across town to get their fix at the Iron Horse Coffee Shop on 2nd Street in the dilapilated Historic downtown Rogers business district.
